#cheeto writing advice

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Cheeto do you have any tips on writing I what to get some practice in before the next write a thon so I can write something ,but do not have good grammar skills is ok if I write it with some what bad grammar. And thanks for creating that I had so much fun.

My tip is to get into the practice of getting your ideas into words and onto the page, and that's it. Ignore grammar skills, ignore the mechanics of writing, ignore any thought of judgement from others or from yourself. Just write.

For the Write-a-thon, the goal is to write new words, and to write a lot of them. This means, basically, your first draft. And the purpose of a first draft is to exist. Not to have flawless grammar or mechanics or anything like that, but to exist as a base for further creation, and to capture the core idea of the story that you want to write so you can build upon it. So, if you want to practice for the write-a-thon, I suggest primarily to get comfortable with getting your ideas down on paper. You can do this in fragment sentences, in brackets, in bullet points, in floating pieces of dialogue and description, as unpolished or polished as works best for you---but get those ideas down.

If you are still worried about grammar, I would suggest continuing to read others' works, so that you can learn the rules of writing by observation. Further, an online spell checker would be able to proofread your work before your post. You could even get yourself a grammar book if you think it would help. But I just wanna emphasize that, grammar skills or not, your writing is still unique and captivating and worthy to be written and shared. So go write it, and worry about all of that later.

Thank you so much for joining us last month. I can't wait to see you next month, I'm sure you'll do amazing. Just keep writing---get those words on the page no matter how awkward or grammatically incorrect they may seem on the first pass---and the rest will follow. You've got this <3

[ddejavvu]

hiii!! can i suggest some hotch x bau!wife!reader where reader is pregnant and she doesnt know, but at work she goes on about how she doesnt know whats wrong with her lately and spencer suggests that she might be pregnant and then she find out that she is!!

I love your writing sm btw😚😚😚

i think i might finally have enough time to write whole blurbs again :'))

--

"No flamin' hot for you today, Mrs. Hotchner?" Derek eyes your bag of plain cheetos where they lay open on your desk, and you grimace at his phrasing.

"God, no," You groan, "Don't make me sick."

"You love those things," His brows furrow, and he leans on the edge of your desk with one hand, his thick fingers splayed out over the wood, "I'm pretty sure your tongue is permanently stained red by now."

"I like them when I'm not in the middle of some weird stomach bug," You admit, "I woke up sick. I don't know what did it, but it was probably something Jack brought home."

Derek pointedly removes his hand from your desk, but he's kind enough not to tell you that he thinks you're contagious.

"Feel better, mama." He offers with something that you're sure is supposed to be a sympathetic smile, but looks a little more like a wince. Emily isn't so easily scared off, though, and she continues munching on the carrot sticks she'd brought for a snack.

"You look tired," She comments, and you almost want to take offense, "You were up all night with your stomach thing?"

"No, just when my alarm went off," You hum, swallowing a bite of your sandwich and trying not to heave at the texture, "It was nice enough to let me sleep, but-" Your sentence is cut off with a well-timed yawn, "I feel like I've been awake for days."

"Probably just your period," Penelope hums softly, trying and failing to keep your menstrual cycle a secret, which isn't surprising considering her track record with secrets. Everyone is kind enough to ignore the information she revealed, but when you shake your head and grumble, 'I'm late.', Spencer snaps to attention.

"You've missed a menstrual cycle, you're feeling extreme fatigue, and you're experiencing morning sickness?" Spencer verifies, and it's only with his discerning brain that you feel a weight sink in your stomach - preferably not your unborn baby.

"Oh my god," You breathe, your hand coming subconsciously up to your stomach, "Oh my- oh my god! Aaron, Aaron!"

Aaron rushes out of his office with the combined urgency of boss and husband, his eyes locking on you sharp with concern.

The air between you is thick as the members of your team grin up at Hotch, leaving you the silence to cheer, "I'm pregnant!"

His eyes are no longer viciously worried, their sharp edge melting into something far softer. His lips part, barely enough to let air through, until they crack and curve upwards in a dazzling smile that the bullpen doesn't often get to see.

"You took a test?" He confirms, but when you shake your head, he dims slightly.

"Reid said I am," You offer, and his zeal is back. You're sure he wishes he could wrap you up in a truly breathtaking embrace, complete with kiss far too passionate for your work environment, but you'll save it until you're at home, away from prying eyes and phone cameras. Regardless, you can feel his exhilaration from where you stand, and you're already planning out a nursery in your mind.

"He's probably more trustworthy than the plastic stick," Derek claps Reid on the back, and the doctor looks like the wind was knocked out of him. They're both smiling, though, and you feel JJ's hand on your shoulder, squeezing happily.

"Congratulations," Rossi pats Aaron on the shoulder, much gentler than Reid had been subjected to, "But a word of advice, Hotch? Don't have any more. If I have to split my inheritance another way, it won't be worth killing me over."

[bitchimasnake-sss]

YOUR YUJI FIC WAS SO YUMMY 😳 I would love a part 2 if you’re ever up for writing it! 🥹

GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD. ME. ME. I AM BACK AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH (im sorry i just missed writing). well, anyways, with me comes the power of horny <3

ps: this took me fucking four days to write and i don't even think it's good 😭😭 writers block is a bitch

🧸learning some lessons ft. yuuji itadori!

continuation of my previous fic "teaching some lessons", so, i suggest read that first to ensure you're fully immersed into the horny storyline. set-up: yuuji itadori. the quarterback, the guy you're giving "sex ed" lessons, and ofcourse, the brother of your childhood best friend sukuna. what could ever go wrong with this combination? nothing, i hope? warnings: contains nsfw concepts such as yuuji's first time, overstimulation, penetration, a bit of porn logic. and as always, sukuna, nobara and megumi are fucking menaces. stay blessed y'all, and minors DO NOT INTERACT I WILL FIND YOU AND HUNT YOUR ASSES. [ALSO A LITTLE BIT OF TOJI AND GOJO SLANDER IM SORRY] wc: 6.4k porn with A LOT of plot [like 70% plot im sorry]

"dude." megumi's usual nonchalant demeanor had faded in a matter of seconds. now, each of his drawled out words had a certain twinge of dread, "this is actually fucking insane."

"hm?" the pink-haired quarterback didn't even bother to dignify his best friend's statement with a proper answer. he was too busy rapidly pressing the controls, trying to get the shots right.

but megumi's hand had gone slack, the controller barely held limply in his palm. he turned to stare down the forementioned pink-headed idiot. he repeated himself, "yuuji."

"gumi—" yuuji hissed back, "we're losing, fucking focus."

"you just told me that you're fucking sukuna's best friend. her." megumi deadpanned, "the only thing i need to focus on is arranging your funeral."

yuuji hissed through his teeth as his player got shot right in the head and a definitive 'GAME OVER' flashed all across the tv screen. he sunk backwards into the comfortable couch at the fushiguro household. megumi shifted backwards too, slumping next to his best friend with a resigned sigh.

the house was eerily quiet, save for the sounds of the background score of the game playing in the background. yuuji knew tsumiki was out shopping with her friends, and gojo was out annoying the hell out of someone or the other (possibly, coach nanamin). who else was to be considered in the fushiguro household? toji fushiguro? he was an enigma. he came when he felt like and left just as soon. a model poster boy for giving people daddy issues, yuuji presumed.

"have i told you your couch is super nice?" yuuji asked as he stared at the overhead lighting before sweeping his gaze over the modern living room.

"multiple times."

the quarterback snorted, "you remember the time i got drunk—"

"—and tried to take the couch home. yes, i do. i also remember the time sukuna chased you with a knife cause you took his last pack of cheetos. imagine what he would do when you take his best friend."

yuuji pouted, giving megumi a side-eye he couldn't miss, "you're no fun."

"be for fucking real." the raved head sat up, turning towards yuuji at lightning speed. his eyes squinted in scrutiny, "you're the one making idle chit-chat as if sukuna isn't gonna kill you the moment he finds out what you and her have been up to."

"yeah but—" yuuji sighed, rubbing his palms against his face slowly, "is it really that big of a deal? i mean, it's just a few lessons here and there. it's not like she likes me or something—"

"—yeah, she probably won't. ever. considering she called you her little brother."

"oh, fuck off, gumi. that was when we were five."

"just pointing down the obvious."

"i knew i should have told nobara about the situation. she would have given much better advice."

"kugisaki would have laughed at you so hard, she would have cried." megumi got up, probably to get some more chips. as he left, he quipped over his shoulder, "you're catching feelings for someone who doesn't have that kind of interest in you, itadori. you will end up looking like an idiot at the end. and possibly dead."

well, maybe megumi fushiguro had a point. but that point was so goddamn hard to see with your thighs pressed on either sides of his face.

🧸lesson 04: maybe making girls cry is okay sometimes

"mhm- ngh oh my god. yuu." yuuji placed his tongue flat against your pulsating clit. you bucked into his face, pressing his mouth messily to your hot core as you showered him in breathless praises.

nobody was home. kuna was probably gonna be home later at night and so, you both had decided his room as the venue for your next 'lesson'.

you weren't even sure which numbered orgasm it was at this point. and you weren't sure if you even existed anymore outside of yuuji and his face and his tongue and yuuji.

red, hot need ran it's course through your body as the jock manhandled you. his calloused palms pulled your jerking hips downwards to steady them and then, pulled you hastily towards himself. yur jaw fell open, going slack at the torturous stimulation yuuji had the audacity to hum in approval when you momentarily went slack under him.

"yuuji, yuuji. yuu. pl-please please- stop. st-" tears pricked at your eyes as you called out his name in a futile attempt to get him to stop. your hands bunched at his sweaty locks, pushing and pulling to get his wicked tongue on your sensitive cunt to ease up.

but the jock was unforgiving.

his tongue dipped within you, your muscles contracting and spasming against his pretty face as his nose dug deeper against your clit. his tongue was fast, delving in and out of you methodically as you bucked and keened under his touches. the salty tears fell down your cheeks.

"yuu—" you mumbled in a weak voice and he finally looked up so as to assess the damage.

"hm?" his mouth finally parted from yours, messy and sticky.

and when yuuji looked up at you, he was sure this is the last sight he would see before he was condemned to hell for the rest of eternity. your eyes were watery, lips swollen and quivering. you could barely keep your vision straight before you clenched your eyes shut and tried to pry him off of yourself.

so fucking pretty that it made him ache. and that only pushed him to kiss inner thigh and lick a soft stripe up your gushing cunt, getting back to what he was previously doing.

"fuck fuck fuc— yuu, no. no more. p-plea— fuck." you stomach was full of something hot and molten, something jittery and unstable. something that sounded and tasted a lot like yuuji itadori.

the quarterback stayed on his knees, bringing his forefinger and thumb to pinch and rub your wet clit as your thighs shook, your eyes rolled backwards and your back arched. he grinned — a feral sight — as you finally came undone on his tongue again.

he finally pulled himself upwards, using his discarded tshirt to clean off his face. as he stood before you, all he could do was watch you awestruck.

you were heavenly.

your spent figure was slumped on his bed; t-shirt pushed up to expose your bruised tits and your legs pressed together as you tried to come back on mother earth. your eyes were still closed, cheeks wet from tears and yuuji had to stop himself from begging you to let him fuck you tonight.

but he abstained. of course not. that was insane. you would never let him go that far, would you? so, instead he chose to lie down next to you and pull you into his chest.

you nudged your cheek against his pecs, finding refuge in his warmth and he gladly let you, allowing a small smile on his face. his fingers came up to push back strands of hair from your sweaty forehead and then wipe away the salty tears that had made home against the plane of you cheeks. once he was sure you had caught your breath, he pressed a sweet kiss to your skin. finally, he mumbled, "sorry, did i go too far?"

you shook your head no, curling further into him with ease. and he let you. he shifted his position so as to allow your skin on his, so as to press his nose to your hair and smell that strawberry shampoo, so as to almost pretend for a second that you were his.

but you didn't let the show run for long. a few minutes later, as you felt the energy returning to your body, you attempted to get up.

the jock's eyebrows furrowed, he sat up with you, "something wrong? do you want something? water or—"

"—no, no." you turned to give him a weak smile, "i think i'm just gonna go shower before kuna is home and he finds me like this."

oh. ofcourse. how could he forget the ever-looming threat that was sukuna?

"can you walk?" he asked earnestly, offering you his tshirt so you could put it on, "i can walk you to the shower, if you want."

"i'll be okay, yuu." you poked your head through his shirt, trying to stand up. but your legs immediately wobbled and you lost balance, "—fuck. okay. i guess not."

yuuji offered you a smile, picking you up bridal style as you squealed at his action. a blush crept up your neck and face, "what are you doing?!"

"what? i think i should be responsible for the mess i create, shouldn't i?" he gave you a cheeky smile, the kind where the cut under his eye came alive and he grinned ear to ear. a boyish grin, perhaps. and you were fortunate enough to be on the recipient end of it.

you weren't sure what it was that you felt for yuuji, or what you didn't. all you knew that right now — as he carried you out of his room clad in a t-shirt that smelt like him — it was as if he was aware of the sudden jump your heart and wanted nothing more than to be the cause of your untimely death.

"you don't have to do this." you mumbled.

what did 'this' refer to, exactly? you weren't quite sure. was it the fact that he had entertained your drunken idea for such a long amount of time? or was if the fact that in the moments even when you weren't offering him something physical, he still looked at you as if you hung up stars in the night sky for him? maybe it was as simple as the fact that he was carrying you to run you a bath.

he stayed quiet and you repeated yourself louder, "really, yuuji, you don't have to."

"i want to." and that was all he said.

you felt his biceps tense under you as he shifted your weight on one arm and attempted to open the door with the other. he gave you a reassuring smile, and you nudged your face against his chest to hide your embarrassment at his simple answer.

once he finally was through, he walked into the lliving room, attempting to make his way to the bathroom down the hallway whe—

"YUUJI?!" a voice boomed from the door and both of you whipped your head to look at the man that stood there.

ever heard of divine intervention? yeah, this was whatever the fuck is the opposite to that. satanic intervention. cursed intervention, perhaps.

"ON—ONICHAN?!"

"CHOSO?!" you scrambled off of yuuji, hitting the ground with a muffled thud.

choso immediately looked away from his half-naked brother and the girl in his brother's t-shirt*.

(*yeah, okay, just try to understand the family dynamics for a second. choso [24] is the oldest and he has graduated uni and has a job now. sukuna and (yn) [21] are in their third year, and yuuji [20] is in his second. choso knows who (yn) is since you and kuna are childhood besties or whatever. so... yeah okay, back to the shitshow 👍🏻)

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" choso asked loudly, his eyes still averted from you both so as to not accidentally see your exposed form.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" yuuji retorted as you hid behind his broad figure instinctively, trying to recover whatever ounce of modesty you had.

"I OBVIOUSLY HAD THE KEY TO MY OWN HOME?!"

"WELL, DON'T WALK IN UNANNOUNCED? DO YOU HAVE NO MANNERS?"

"yuuji."

"IM SORRY 'NICHAN!!"

and that is how choso found out about your little arrangement. and that is how you both decided to never have another rendezvous session at the itadori's.

🧸lesson 05: you got this, itadori!

"what the fuck?" megumi asked slowly, eyeing yuuji as the jock shoved some french fries down his mouth.

"YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK?!" nobara repeated, louder. to which, megumi gave her a side-eye, "we're in public, kugisaki."

yuuji took his time, sipping his coke before shrugging, "yeah, so, 'nichan found out."

nobara shook her head, "no. no. turn around 360—"

"—180. 360 makes a circle."

"die, megs. anyways, turn around and tell me that part of the story where you started—" the red-head shuddered, "—doing stuff with senpai. why?! how?! why?! how??"

yuuji took a bite from his burger before saying, "well, she offered."

"fuck that all. it's old news."

"for you. cause, apparently, i was left out of the loop—"

"—much sad. anyways, is choso okay with you and her? or is he gonna snitch you out to sukuna?"

"i mean, no. i don't think so, no." yuuji tried to steal a fry off of nobara's plate and she smacked his hand off, "ow kugisaki! whatever. he gave me a long lecture about how i should actually pursue her and officially ask her out if we wanna keep doing this. after that, for whatever unrelated reason, he cried about how quickly we grew up."

"virgin behavior." nobara stuck out a tongue, quickly reeling out of her disbelief over the fact that yuuji was getting some, "i mean, that's old-fashioned. you don't have to date her, you know?"

"but your brother's not wrong, is he?" megumi offered. "don't keep doing this just cause you want a way to get your dick wet."

"megs, it's not 1920. they are consensual adults and they can just fool around if they're on the same page."

"yeah but about that—" yuuji tried to sneak in a fry from megumi's plate now, "—i think i'm in love with her. and i am pretty sure the feelings are one-sided."

"huH?!"

"what?" the jock looked at the two dumbfounded, "i like her. she's pretty and smart and i think— i like her."

he didn't think he liked you. he knew that he was whole-heartedly, as stupidly as humanly possible, in love with you.

but he didn't bother mentioning the fact.

he didn't bother mentioning a plethora of things, in fact. first, that his heart had been offered to you at the ripe age of four when he first realized that sunlight got caught against your hair strands somewhat magically, and when you smiled, he smiled; and that when he cried, you kissed his imaginary wounds better even when sukuna made fun of him.

he didn't bother mentioning that when he asked you to marry him, there was only such a small part of him that was 'joking', the larger chunk of him would have exchanged his soul for some sort of forbidden alchemy to be with you.

he didn't bother mentioning that when he was thirteen, a slew of girls had asked to be his girlfriend, and he had turned down each one of them to sneak in his first kiss with you.

but all those years of pining just turned into a small ball of anxiety, ever-growing in his stomach. he knew you didn't feel the same. so, he didn't bother saying any of that. because, well, frankly, his situation seems just a tiny-teensy bit pathetic.

"i guess i just like her... just a bit." he repeated, more to himself than others.

"we heard the first time. and the second."

"DUDE" nobara's eyes widened, "she's sukuna's best friend."

"hey, what happened to the fact that we are consensual adults fooling around?"

"oh no, fuck that. i was humoring you." nobara shook her head, "sukuna's gonna murder you."

"yeah, i know." yuuji sighed, his playfulness replaced by something more mature, "i am not gonna ask her out. i think i'm gonna call this— whatever this is— off. i don't want her to lose her friendship with 'kuna, and she... well, she probably doesn't like me anyways."

megumi and nobara exchanged a sorry expression among themselves before looking back to yuuji. but the jock put on a smile, "ah it's fine, it was fun while it lasted." he leaned back in his seat, "wanna catch a movie after this? human earthworm is out."

so the quarterback had gone back home that day with a certain resolve. he would call this off.

he put on his lucky red sweatshirt, put on the cologne you had complimented once when he had gone for one of his lessons, and he put on his best fake smile. as he passed by sukuna in the living room, he guiltily looked away from him and walked out of the door as soon as possible.

"where ya going?" the tatted man asked, not looking up from his phone.

"nowhe—" he sighed, running a hand through his hair before he bent downwards to put on his shoes, "with gumi and nobara. we're going to the arcade."

"you've been hanging out with the fushiguro kid quite a lot nowadays. a lot of sleepovers."

yuuji's fingers halted, slowly fidgeting with the shoelaces before he threw sukuna a casual look, "he's my friend. and his dad is out of town so i go over. got an issue?"

"nah, do whatever." kuna met his eyes but then went back to his phone without saying much. a beat later, he continued, "well, let me know if you'd be home in time for dinner."

yuuji stood up, dusting off his clothes, "you're cooking today?"

"yeah, thought i'd invite her over. she likes that pasta i make."

at the mention of you, yuuji looked over sukuna once. a sharp sting suddenly erupted in his chest like someone had hit him. hard. and, so, without saying anything more, the younger itadori immediately left through the main door.

things must end.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

his fingers skimmed over the ringing bell in front of your apartment as his feet nervously shuffled around at the door. he knew you were on the other side, waiting for him. as the door swung open, he was face to face with your housemate.

"hey?" maki raised an eyebrow, a smug smile on her lips. she was dressed as if she was leaving to go somewhere, "she's in her room."

yuuji simply pursed his lips, nodded and moved past his senior. before walking into your room, he stalled in front of the door, threw his head back to catch maki about to leave, "kugisaki says hi, by the way."

and if yuuji didn't know any better, he would have assumed the glare maki gave was one well-intended to kill him.

he wasn't sure if the room was chilly or if the reason for goosebumps was something else, but nonetheless, he shut the door behind him and stepped into the room. as he came in view with the bed, he found you casually on your back, scrolling your phone.

"yuuji!" you smiled as you sat up, a familiar warmth spreading over your face at his presence. but he merely nodded, his lips drawn into a thin line.

"um," you fidgeted, standing up hastily and laughing to ease the awkwardness, "so, uh— did maki let you in?"

"yeah, she did."

"oh, well, she's going out, so we don't need to worry about her." you paused for a second before your expression fell and you tried again, "hey?"

but a same monotone expression fell across his face, "hey."

"um... is something wrong? in a bad mood or something?"

"not quite." yuuji rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the cold, wooden floors, "i wanted to talk. to you, i mean."

you nodded, although he didn't look up at you to register your expression. he continued softly, "we should stop this."

"what?"

"i—" he looked up at you, quickly sneaking in a steadying breath, "i wanted to thank you for the 'lessons'. it's been fun and i learnt so much, really. but you don't have to do it anymo—"

"why?" you interrupted, "did someone find out?"

"what? no."

"then?" you stepped towards him, your unyielding gaze trained on his face, "do you not... want to do it with me anymore?"

"no, ofcourse not." his eyes widened and he stepped forward in a desperate attempt to comfort you. his palms found purchase against your cheek, "no. that's not what i meant."

"what do you mean then?" you looked up at him, confused.

"i-" he looked at you softly, "i really can't ruin your friendship with sukuna anymore. we need to stop. it has gone for... for way too long, now, hasn't it?"

"—it's just been a few months."

"come on. we both know we need to stop." he confessed, and as his words left you hollow, so did his touch. he pulled away from you and stepped back a teensy bit to allow you some space. "it will be for the best."

you looked at him for a beat. and then one more. finally, "kiss me."

and the jock obliged without any hesitation. his lips were familiar against yours, his hands on your cheek, and his body weight pressing onto you and pushing you backwards into the bed.

the back of your knees hit the wooden frame and you stumbled backwards, falling onto the bed with a muffled thud. but yuuji didn't bother following you and caging you underneath him. instead, he stood at the edge, waiting.

"yuu?" you asked softly.

"are you sure about this?"

and you weren't sure if he was asking that question to you or himself. you weren't sure if his fingers were shaking from the betrayal or the need to hold you against him. but you nodded your head anyways, "yeah. if this is it. if this is the last time then indulge in my stupid ideas one last time." you paused, "please?"

he nodded before swiftly throwing off his hoodie off of his torso an onto the floor. bruises from a few days before laid tattered across his tan skin and his biceps flexed and moved as he slowly caged you under him.

"fuck," he breathed in slowly, taking in your low-lidded gaze, "you're so fuckin' pretty."

your fingers found solace in his pinkish locks and you pulled him closer — till your skin smelt like his perfume and his stuttered breath hit your lips, "yuuji."

"hm?" his eyes ran over your face, and the adoration in his eyes made you feel like he would set the world aflame if you so as even asked him to.

"fuck me."

his pupils widened, cheeks flushed and a breathless gasp got stuck in his throat. at his reaction, you pulled him downwards, kissing him softly before the tendrils of passing seemed to nip down on both of you. soon after, you were nothing more than messy kisses, clashing teeth and wrong decisions.

"fuuck— ha-harder." he moaned as your fingernails sunk into his scalp, pulling him harder against yourself.

your hands travelled downwards to his chest and you pushed him away only to turn him around and straddle his hips. your pelvis rolled over his, the delicious friction driving you delirious as you peered down at the man under you — kiss-bitten lips, tousled hair, flushed cheeks.

yuuji itadori looked at you as if you were his god.

and you played along. rolling your hips, tracing a finger from his jaw down to his pecs as your lips traced the path with soft kisses soon after.

his hips stuttered, trying to meet your shallow teases before he mumbled out a soft, "take off your clothes."

you smiled, putting on a show for him as you slipped out of your tshirt. leaving yourself exposed to his preying eyes, you slowly took off the bra.

"shit, look at you." he raised himself on his elbows, coming upwards to softly kiss your warm skin before slowly licking over your nipple as another hand fondled the other. your head was thrown back at the feeling of his warm mouth on you while his fingers softly tugged at the other.

soon after that, you found yourself rocking yourself on his long fingers as he sunk his teeth in your neck, getting off on the pretty sounds you made as you rut against him almost as desperately as he was. when he caught you sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet, he pulled your face towards his and kissed you senseless. when he pulled away, his hot breath fanned over your lips, "don't. let me hear, please."

and so senseless moans tumbled down your lips as you you came, still rutting against his hand.

when your breath stilled and you finally met his gaze, all you could was breath out an airy, "fuck me, please."

flushed face, hazy eyes, your mouth parted so prettily at the end of the sentence. who was itadori yuuji to deny you of anything?

"say that again."

🧸lesson 06: fuck it up, itadori!

"n-no protection? are you... sure?"

god, he was adorable.

you held back a laugh as you re-assured him a millionth time, "i'm on birth control, so, no. trust me."

"hm. hm." his breath was caught in his throat as if it were a jagged rock. your hands on his torso felt warm — too warm — as if they would char him and you blinked up at him so prettily as you laid atop those pillows.

"i- one second. i-" his voice was thick, hands slightly shaking as he tried to guide his erection into your slick cunt.

"yuu," you cooed and he looked at you in part hope, part confusion. a laugh escaped you at his expression, "you look like a kicked puppy."

"so-sorry, imjustnervous—" he mumbled, his eyes avoiding yours.

"yuu," you repeated, "this is your first time, right?"

he nodded so softly that it was entirely too easy to miss it. you held back an amused grin, "let me help, okay?"

shockwaves ran through his body as your soft hand slowly took ahold of his dick and ran the tip over your clit, gathering your wetness on the mushroom tip. you both held back a choked sigh as your hand continued the same up and down, up and down, up and down motion till you felt as if yuuji was going to cry just from the teasing.

"h-hey—"

"sorry, sorry. no more teasin', i promise." you replied cheekily, fingers finally guiding him to your sloppy hole. and as the tip finally pushed past the first ring of feeble resistance, a shuddering gasp left the man above you.

pushing in inch by inch, you gasped at the sinful stretch of him filling you. your walls spasmed slightly against him, hugging him so sinfully tight that he wondered if he would pass out just right now. but he couldn't. so he commanded himself to keep moving forward till he was all but buried within you.

"s-shit." his breath was heavy against the dip of your neck and you ran a soft hand through his hair, "you okay, yuu?"

"ye-yeah." he shook his head slowly, descending down on you to sink his teeth into your skin again as he started moving slowly.

"jus like that— yeah."

at first his thrusts were slow and shallow, as if he was just testing the waters. but as you found you keening into his touches and moaning as his tip rubbed against a certain spot, he grew sure of his actions.

his thrusts were now harder, a bit more precise and his tempo increased as you dug your heels on his back and tugged on his hair to keep him going.

"jesus" you gasped, back arching off slowly as his lower abs caught friction against your clit and his dick started ramming into your with a periodic rhythm. "fu-fuck is it your fuckin first time? for fucks sake, yuuji ngh—"

his breath was laboured, a thin layer of sweat adorning his forehead and nose, "im a quick learner, fuck— you're shi-shit, you're so fucking perfect."

lifting himself up slightly, his hand snaked in between your bodies and he found himself thumbing at your clit with ease.

"yuuji—" your voice pitched up as his circles grew in pressure. already overstimulated from his administrations on your poor cunt, you felt the pressure building inch by inch till it grabbed ahold of your body and shook you to your very core.

under him, you grabbed hastily at the sheets, at the pillow, at his hair, at anything to keep yourself on this plane of consciousness as he kept drawing messy figures on your clit and fucked into your cervix with reckless abandon.

and that unsteady, familiar feeling grew and grew and grew till it turned your body to jello and burst inwards, "f-fuck shit, ohmygod im cummin im cummin im cumm— FUCK YUUJI—"

his fingers pressed hastily against your lips but the cockiness in his voice practically dripped off of him and onto you, "shh, someone might hear, pretty."

his thrusts grew erratic, nudging him more and more towards a certain, familiar kind of high. his face found solace against your shuddering body as he cursed and spilled inside you.

"fuck." he cursed one last time as he breathed you in, just laying atop you having spent himself.

he slowly pulled himself upwards, pressing a chaste kiss to your nose, and you gave him a spent smile, the kind that had quickly became his favorite. he slowly pulled himself out, and caught the milky white gushing out of your cunt.

and with that, itadori yuuji lost all sanity.

next you knew, your face was being pressed into the mattress, your cunt being ravaged by his unforgiving dick ramming in and out easily.

"fuc-fuck, sogood so fuckin' good—"

his chest was against your back, his weight pressing down on your so deliciously and trapping you under him. you pressed your face harder into the mattress, screaming out muffled renditions of his name as he softly pinched your clit.

"i'm sorry, baby, im so fuckin' sorry" but he sounded anything but sorry as he whispered hotly in your ear, both his fingers and his dick doing everything in their power to turn you into nothing more than a woman maddened with his touch.

your fingers sunk into the sheets underneath, your death-grip growing even more deadlier as he fucked into you as a man depraved.

"this 'sthe last time," his words slurred as he left sloppy kisses down your neck, "promise, i promise."

but those promises were nothing more than candied words on his pretty lips, because now he had you on top of him, your back against his chest, his heels digging into your mattress dangerously as he fucked up into you.

"yuu— yuuJI pleaseplease ple— fucking fuc—" your voice grew in pitch, unresolved tears falling down your face as his hands fondled your tits, tugging and tweaking the nipples to his liking, and your own familiar fingers toyed with your clit.

how could he go on for so fucking long? jesus fucking christ.

"i play varsi- fuck varsity," he answered softly, "this is nothin' for me."

he pressed a soft kiss to your neck as his cock split you apart for the nth time and you fell apart on top of the man who claimed to love you more than he loved life and reason itself.

"don't." his voice grew desperate, a hand coming to hold yours over your overstimulated, abused clit, "i didn- say you could stop, did i? keep going. please. one more. fuck. please."

"yuuji stop—"

"—give me one more, please."

"pleasepleaseplease—" you sobbed, your body arching off of him as he brought you to another one orgasm. you eyes rolled back into your skull, a bit of drool dangerously on your bottom lip, and your body went slack so as to let him do as he pleased.

your cunt gushed on his dick, spraying you both in your juices he thrusted into one last time, spilling into your overfilled pussy all over again with a breathless string of pants and moans.

the quarterback collapsed backwards onto your bed with you on top of him. he reluctantly pushed the weight of your sweaty body off of him, and instinctively pressed another kiss to your head.

his hand came up to push back the sweaty hair strands that stuck to you like second skin, and to thumb at the furious blush on your cheeks. your eyes fluttered upwards at him, you barely managing a smile, "thankyou."

"for what?" he turned to his side, taking every feature of you in with a small smile. a beat passed him by in the serene room before he found his heart weighing heavily and lodging itself between his lungs.

"you're so pretty" he found himself mumbling, "i wish i- i wish i could..." but he caught himself before he could make a fool of himself and confess to a passed out girl. he bit the inside of his cheek. maybe it was better if he just left wordlessly. "nothing."

you were asleep. he knew that. but then why did you snuggle closer and whispered a soft, "i love you."

"—huH?!" any and all sanity left the jock at this point. his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared down your softly snoring form, "what did you just say?"

but you said nothing, still softly snoring in your goddamn sleep and yuuji felt like he was going insane. did you say it??? did he imagine it??? is this a punishment from the devil (sukuna) itself??? what was real anymore? was he real???

and hey what does a panicked twenty year old does when faced with the possible conundrum of his crush of fifteen years having feelings for him?? he runs.

yuuji itadori never had put on his clothes faster than he did right this moment. hastily putting one leg into the sweats and then another, he dashed to make his way to the door. before stepping out, he looked back at you one last time.

fuck itadori, are you dumb?! she doesn't love you like that. it's the post-sex hormones. his consciousness begged in the voice of megumi fushiguro, which was a bit concerning cause was the voice of reason in his head megumi fushiguro?!

but that was not the issue at hand right now. his voice of reason could be questioned another time. right now? running. yes, that was the plan.

the lock softly clicked and he stepped out into the living room before closing the door ever so slowly behind him.

"done fucking?"

and yuuji's blood ran cold.

he whipped around to peer at a certain, tatted delinquent who was sat on the couch in the living room, "brother?"

"brother? huh?" sukuna laughed, the sound so chilling that yuuji felt his blood freeze ad turn into cement, "bringing out the formalities?"

yuuji's tongue got stuck in his throat and sukuna stood up slowly, holding up his hands in mock surrender, "she wouldn't pick up my calls, and i had a spare key. sorry if i'm fuckin imposing."

"'kuna," yuuji's voice was quiet, "it's not what he looks like."

"hm, it is not?" he flashed the younger itadori an amused smile, "ofcourse it is not. what do you think i think you both did?"

"fu-fucked?" the jock swallowed hard.

"bingo."

"i didn't." yuuji didn't know if he was begging for forgiveness, and if yes, then what for? for betraying sukuna's trust or for feeling satisfied that his brother knew of his conquests?

"you didn't? from what i heard, she seemed a little too happy in there." and now sukuna stood mere inches apart, his hand balled into a neat fist.

"kun—" but yuuji's right cheek bore the fate of getting punched by sukuna.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND, YUUJI?"

the jock nursed his cheek, still reeling from the attack. but a certain flame came alive. he wasn't a fucking child. "YEAH, YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND."

sukuna looked at him in disbelief, "how fucking could you? she meaNS SHIT TO ME, YOU FUCKFACE."

"—SO DOES SHE TO ME."

the man stepped insanely closer, grabbing ahold of yuuji's hoodie's collar, "THEN WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM HER RIGHT NOW? HUH?"

the two boys heaved heavily, anger boiling hot through their veins. finally yuuji spat up, "she told me she loved me."

sukuna's grasp loosened, "what?"

"she fucking told me she loved me."

"and you're running?" sukuna looked at his brother with a strange look. disappointment, perhaps?

"i- it's a mistake. she doesn't." yuuji looked downwards, trying not to show his pain in his soft words, "and... i didn't want to fucking hurt you, asshole."

"so you're a coward?" the tatted man scoffed.

and yuuji pushed his brother back, "fuck you."

"no." sukuna's gaze hardened, "you fuck off, you stupid fucking dipshit. she told you she loves you, and you ran?"

"for fucks sake, sukuna" yuuji breathed in slowly, "i thought you'd be elated she probably doesn't."

"you fucked around with her for god knows how long, pretending i didn't know." sukuna stepped back, his words quieter.

"you knew?"

"i'm not dumb, of course i fucking knew." he paused, "and 'nichan told me."

"jesus fucking christ, 'nichan." yuuji looked down at the floors, "what now?"

"grow a pair, and actually ask her out."

"what?" the jock looked up, confused, "you- wait, you are saying i should ask her out?"

sukuna shrugged, "you've compromised her. you must follow through with the consequences."

"did you watch too much bridgerton? what the fuck is compromised??"

"i did, 'nichan made me watch it. pleasantly surprising, actually." and yuuji was immediately mentally slapped with the image of sukuna enjoying bridgerton.

"huh?" yuuji softly shook his head, "so... what? i like have your blessing or whatever to ask her out?"

the delinquent made a face of disgust, "i'm not a priest, what the fuck do you mean by blessing? yeah, just fucking ask her out."

"and what if she says no?"

"then i will remind you of your failure everyday in life."

yuuji looked at his brother awestruck, "thanks, kuna."

"don't. when you come back home, im gonna beat you to a pulp for fucking my best friend."

"i deserve it."

"fuck yeah, you do." the older itadori made his way to the main entrance, "go fix shit."

and as sukuna left through the door, itadori yuuji slipped back into your room, crawled back into bed with you, and held you close to his chest. softly, as a giddy smile overtook his features, he mumbled, "i love you too."

next morning you woke up next to a fully-clothed yuuji with a swollen right cheek.

"yuu?! why are you dressed?! and what the fuck happened to your cheek?!"

"i fell off your bed."

"what the actual fuck?!"

a/n: IM GENUINELY SO SORRY IF THIS SUCKS ASS, I GOT TOO MUCH INTO CHARACTER WRITING HELPPP!! i really hope it was atleast a fun read, and as i said it took me 4 days just to make it a bit coherent since i'm writing after so long. please forgive me and enjoy the meal. [sorry for any typos and such babes] tagging: @9rvm @jellibean2018 @peekawoocc @kingofthe-egirls @hugmevz [thankyou sm for sending in the request, i was already writing it here so i tagged you <3] misc.: divider by @plutism and header format by @si-eunnis plagiarism not authorized bitch.

[somer-writes]

hi! I really enjoy your stories, you're a really great author- just wondering how you outline/plan your fics and what the writing process is like? I'm a rather new author, so I'm pretty much just fishing for any tips you can give. :D have a nice day!

hi anon :D

thank you thank you <3 that makes my day :3

i do not actually plot/outline bc im chaos incarnate in most things i do. demise has an outline (which i would share except spoilers) in a very loose sense of the word bc im juggling 18 plot relevant characters at a minimum. not to mention the resistance and yiga and fairies and stuff.

so that outline came about by me writing a timeline of events and then breaking those general events into who is where doing what

my process is i have a concept and i word vomit the concept over and over until it gets to a place i like. basically just sit down and write and when it goes somewhere i dont like, i start over from the beginning.

@hotcheetohatredwastaken @wanderlustmagician

these two are much better at outlining than myself^^ cheeto is the fucking outline QUEEN and magi has lots of good note taking!!

if i had any advice its to be kind to yourself and your writing <3 i guarantee its never as bad as you think it is and that someone in the world will enjoy what you do! storytelling takes practice and over time you'll sharpen your ability to sequence events and foreshadow and all that

we all start from somewhere!

also if/when you post your work plz plz plz tag me :D i love cheerleading new authors and will absolutely offer my help if you want it <3

[collegesurvivalist]

Dear College Survivalist, 

 I have been struggling with avoiding grab-and-go foods offered on campus instead of scoping out better food choices in my dining hall. I also don’t know what healthy options to keep in my dorm room despite looking up several types of snacks and protein-packed frozen meals to keep in my fridge. I’m really worried about gaining the freshman 15 and do not know how to put good nutrients in my body, since I was never taught what good eating habits looked like in high school. 

Are there any snack recommendations or tips on eating you could give me?

Thank you,

-Starving College Student

Dear Starving College Student,

Thank you for writing in! Good for you for recognizing that your current habits regarding eating are not healthy. It usually takes a long time for a person to realize that something as big as this is an issue for them. Otherwise, who knows if they ever come to notice their body rejecting the content they consume, right? The world shown in Wall-E (2008) doesn’t seem that distant in our future considering how much junk we knowingly consume. Either way, welcome to the Good Advice Office, where all students come together to ask the same question: What SHOULD I be eating? 

Well, do not fret; today I come bearing wanted gifts such as healthy snack recommendations, as well as unwanted gifts like what happens if you let your body deteriorate without a single care in the world. But I digress, let’s get to the fun stuff first! 

Avoiding the freshman 15 may sound difficult, but it is plenty easy once you get an idea of what works for your body and what foods don’t make you feel like absolute garbage. It all comes down to figuring out and setting an eating schedule alongside a workout schedule that works for you and ONLY you; as everyone’s bodies are vastly different. Sure, you can go ahead and follow that workout video you found on YouTube of that middle-aged mom who lives in Beverly Hills doing pilates in her multi-million dollar home, but don’t just follow one specific routine and stick with it. You need to figure out what works best for you and what goes hand in hand with the nutrients you take in daily. Whether that’s walking on a treadmill, going outside for a walk, or lifting weights, it doesn’t matter– pick an activity to start with and go from there. Just try not to stare at the creepily buff gym rat guys who are using machines next to you if you dare step foot into the gym. 

At your dining hall, always make rounds at the vegetable and salad bar first. This is the most important food group to get into at this age, since all students do otherwise is eat hot Cheetos and Baja Blast Mountain Dew. If there is somewhere in your dining area you can grab sandwiches or foods that aren’t fried, that’s great! Use it to your advantage and make as many different kinds of meal creations as possible. With your beautiful plate of healthy, filling foods that fulfill all five food groups, drink water. Not soda, not iced tea, maybe the occasional silly little cup of milk…but water is your best choice. Staying hydrated is the key thing to remember while adulting; it just helps everything. Headache? Water. Nauseous? Water. Meal replacement? Yeah, no, don’t do that. 

Lastly, your snack options! Take these ideas with a grain of salt and maybe do some more research before deciding on what to buy, but a lot of health gurus swear by rice cakes. My personal favorites are the chocolate ones, as they’re a yummy sweet treat every person dreams of. Nuts are also a great option if you want a snack that will last long on your shelves (unless you have an allergy, then don’t sue me). Always keep your favorite kind of fruit in your fridge as an enjoyable option, as well as citrus, since oranges have a span of up to 2 weeks until they are no longer edible. Granola bars that have low amounts of sugar are also a nice thing to keep in your backpack or purse when you’re out of the room and in need of a small pick-me-up. Keeping snacks with you also helps limit the amount of money you spend on food daily, which is a plus! Can’t catch us going broke buying a $5 bag of chips at the campus store. You have better things to waste that money on, such as overpriced clothes from Hollister.

Have you heard of treating your body like a temple? Treat it like it’s damn royalty that has gone on for 10 generations. Like Paris Geller and her mission to get into Harvard, but actually succeed in doing so instead of losing to a girl who has attachment issues and no idea what real love looks like. 

Other than that oddly specific Gilmore Girls reference, there are other ways to think about your journey into a healthy college lifestyle. Just remember that you are doing this for YOUR benefit. I fear that’s something a lot of people tend to forget when wanting to try something new or create better habits, but it will eventually be defeated by the next generation of selfish punks (any birth year after 2014). 

Stay cool, stay fit, and finally, stay positive. Let us know how your new lifestyle goes!

[myown-worstenemy-2003]

Good Directions (Steve Harrington)

A/N: Hey y'all! Here is another Steve Harrington fic that my brain came up with! I had this in my head for a while and I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it but here it is! Anyway! I hope you enjoy it! PS: Pretty please don't copy my work! I worked hard on this and I will cry! Thank you! :) <3 PPS: I have no idea why I'm on a country music kick either, it's not what I usually listen to. So we're just not gonna talk about it :)

Summary: Based on the song "Good Directions" by Billy Currington

Word Count: 721

It was a hot summer day in Southern Illinois. The sun was blazing but someone had to keep the small community stocked up on their local fruits. So there you were sitting under an umbrella in the shade trying to keep cool. You had been entertaining yourself by watching as the cars drove by, but right now you found yourself snacking on Cheeto Puffs and reading a book that just came out, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. 

You started a new chapter when a car pulled up. You didn’t recognize the car, even when you read the license plate that read ‘H4R1T0N’.

When the person got out of the car, you knew that you didn’t know them, because you didn’t know anyone this pretty.

The man got out of the car and came around to your fruit stand. You stand up and greet him with a smile, “Hi there! Whatcha lookin’ to get today?”

He smiled back at you. 

Holy shit that is gorgeous.

“Uh, I’m not really here for anything I was wondering if you could give me some directions? I got turned around and I’m looking for the Interstate.”

“Oh! Well, it’s a good thing that you found me because I am the woman for the job!” you answered almost kind of disappointed.

You point in a direction, “So if you go way up yonder, go past the caution light,” he nodded along listening intently.

“Okay so you pass the caution light, there’s a little country store with an old Coke sign,” he looked like he was writing down everything you said in his mind.

“You gotta stop and ask Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea,” you said, it threw him off because he looked confused.

“Gotta get a drink and maybe a snack for the road! But after Miss Bell’s, a left will take you to the interstate…” you stopped for a second, thinking if you really were brave enough to say this, fuck it, “but a right will bring you right back here to me.”

You said with a smile on your face. He smiled, “Thank you very much, Miss…”

“(Y/N),” you told him, “Just (Y/N). It was my pleasure to be of service.”

Well, I hope you get more business (Y/N),” he told you with a smile on his face.

“Thank you. I hope you don’t get lost again,” you told him as he was getting into his car. He laughed and got in. He honked as he left and you waved.

You sat back down in your lawn chair. Thinking about his beautiful brown eyes, perfectly tousled brown hair, and his pink lips…

“God damn it, (Y/N)! Didn’t even get his name! What the hell!” you yelled into the open fields and highway.

You sat back down, still mad. It could have been love.

You looked over at your red Ford that has been around since before you were born. You knew that it couldn’t run him down. He probably didn’t like me anyway.

So you picked up your Cheeto Puffs and went to self-wallowing. 

After a half-an-hour of sitting in there and helping one customer, your 3rd-grade teacher Mrs. Crane, you saw another car coming your way. It looked familiar but not in a way that you saw it all the time. 

Holy shit.

The heat has to be playing tricks on you now because that looks like the car of that hunk!

As he came to a stop and got out, you stood up, “Well hey there stranger! Didn’t expect to see you back so soon.”

He smiled and walked up to you holding two large styrofoam cups and he handed you one. 

“What’s this?” you asked.

“Well, I took your advice and I went way up yonder past the caution light. I don’t know why, but something felt right when I stopped and asked Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea,” he told you with a grin on his face.

“So your Mama,” he paused to give you a knowing smile, “gave me a big glass and another for you and sent me right back here to you.”

“Well thank God for good directions, and the fruit stand.

“How did you find your way back here?”

“...I asked your mom for directions.”

[squarebracket-trickster]

Happy STS! I haven’t done many asks today so:

Which of your characters’ lives would you want to live, if any?

What is your “writing kryptonite?” (I.e. something you struggle to write)

If you could give your younger self any kind of writing advice, what would it be?

Happy STS to you back, my dear cheeto!

Which of my character's lives would I want to live? Oh gosh... I have an OC named Tonwynn. I think I'll pick her. She's from the same universe as Sylah, Darius, and Iliri. She's the crown princess of a politically stable constitutional monarchy with a socialist democracy and comparably low-wealth inequality to the other states in this world. Even the monarch is paid a middle-class salary. Tonwynn gets the ego-stroking perks of being a princess but it's not nearly as unethical (or demanding as a role) as it could be (I mean, I have my opinions about constitutional monarchies in general but I think my anti-monarchy stance would leave me pretty fast if I was royalty myself. I like being special). She is also the only female royal character I have that doesn't have inter-generational family trauma. She has an impeccable fashion-sense (though she has short hair and I don't want short hair... that's really the only point against her.) I'd pick Sylah except that the poor girl has trauma up the wall and chronic pain. Tonwynn is the next best choice for characters that make out with Darius.

What is my writing kryptonite? hmmm... to be honest I actually think it is worldbuilding. It's weird because I am a spec-fic writer through and through and worldbuilding is kinda the backbone of the genres. I struggle to commit to ideas because I like every detail to have significance. It's why I tend to do the bulk of my worldbuilding after I have written two complete drafts. If I do too much worldbuilding before I write the first draft I find I end up abandoning it all because I didn't need it or it feels too random. Sometimes I will avoid a project for months because the worldbuilding feels too arbitrary and it is trapping me creatively. Writing is like solving a sudoku for me. One addition helps me figure out the next. If there is no rhyme or reason behind an addition I can't use it to figure out the next piece in the puzzle.

Advice to my younger self? Keep your momentum going by any means necessary. Itching to get to the whole plot written down but trying to think of a non-clichéd way to say something is slowly you down? Write the cliché. Next. Have a scene you feel the urge to write now but you don't know how to get there? Just write it anyways. You'll figure it out later. Next. Can't think of the word you are looking for but you know what needs to happen next in the scene? [ ] and move on. Next. Stuck on the worldbuilding but have a plot? Worldbuild after your first draft. Next. Stuck worldbuilding but itching to do cuts and rewrites? Worldbuild after your second draft. Just. Keep moving forward. If you see a way, take it. Don't take the fact that you aren't completely stuck for granted.

[oflostdrcams]

She looked at him for a moment as if she were studying his face. There was no reason to think that what he was implying wasn’t the truth. If she had hung on to random concert tickets and little notes, it wasn’t a stretch to say he had a few things from their past too. “If you do, I need to beg you to keep that really weird bio to yourself,” she told him with a bit of a laugh. “Not sure why they let me write it myself, but the whole attempt at a secret code thing was such a weird choice.” Caroline had changed a lot in the past ten or so years and she knew so much of what she’d done as a baby adult would embarrass her now.

Her arms instinctively wrapped around him, noticing the way she so easily fell back into place. Once upon a time, they’d been extensions of each other. Wherever one was, the other was either right there or on their way. People asked Caroline questions they needed to know about Theo and vice versa. They’d always been perfectly balanced and she wasn’t surprised to recognize these past few months that that was something that hadn’t changed.

While she would’ve stood in that moment forever, she reluctantly let go when he did. Though, seconds later, his hand had found hers and she didn’t think twice about it. “I think we should embrace the awkward. Not that I’m saying history’s going to repeat itself, but I think we’re just gonna be us, you know? We’ll figure it out.” Caroline felt lighter on her feet as she matched the rhythm of his steps to the diner. There was so much swirling around her mind, but she tried to take her own advice. Whatever they needed to say, they’d say. It somehow all made perfect sense to her. "Can't believe you left Cheeto home alone though. Super irresponsible."

"what makes you think i don't still have that?" he could have pushed it, could have made a joke about the program being in the bedside drawer with the engagement ring, but it didn't feel right, so he didn't. he just took the program back with a smile and held it loosely by his side. theo didn't even hesitate to take half a step forward to pull caroline into a hug. it felt right in so many ways, like slotting that a puzzle piece into place. but it also sort of felt like their her cat had batted the final piece under the couch never to be seen again. it wasn't complete. they weren't together. he'd been planning on proposing to her before she'd left pittsburgh.

and now they were both in new york and he was trying to make a replacement piece fit properly. maybe it would work out. maybe it wouldn't. maybe cheeto would just eat another piece and they'd never be able to complete it...or maybe they'd make it work as it was, missing piece and all.

theo raised a brow as he stepped back and away from her, free hand combing through his hair before reaching for one of hers and heading towards the diner out of habit. "was that last time awkward?" he guided her around a particularly large puddle. 'i didn't notice."

[whats-her-quirk]

Writing is like a vending machine.

You put quarters in every time you sit down to write, but sometimes your bag of cheetos gets stuck. It doesn't mean you didn't put the quarters in, but for some reason or another, often outside your immediate control, you end up with no cheetos.

You can jiggle the machine or bang on the glass, but that's not really good for the machine. It could fall on you and hurt you. Sometimes, all you can do is walk away and either find another machine or wait until that one is fixed another time.

You can ask someone to help you get your cheetos, or sometimes they can give you some more quarters to put in.

On the other hand, sometimes you put in your money and TWO bags of cheetos fall out.

And sometimes you realize you didn't want cheetos in the first place. You wanted oreos, but you didn't know it until the cheetos got stuck.

But more often that not, you end up with a snack at the end.

[curiouslilbird]

welcome!

My blog is somewhat like a library of various cool posts I’ve found over the years--find posts by opening the Read More link and tapping the links below. Items are in alphabetical order by type.  (I've tried to sort them as well as I can, but there's a lottttt of tags...my apologies to your scrolling fingers in advance!)

The Arts

Art / Painting / Sculpture / Digital Art

Books / Literature / Writing

Dance

Music

Musical / Musicals / Musical theater

Theater

Beautiful

Aesthetic (general tag)

Beautiful (general tag)

Cleancore

Flowers

Glass

Iridescent

Light

Nature (general tag)

Pretty (general tag)

Vaporwave

Water

Colors

(mostly for stimmy posts, but also for aesthetic as well)

Pink

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Indigo

Purple

Silver

Gold

Rose Gold

Brown

Black

Gray

White

Cute

Adorable

Adorbs

Animals (general tag)

Cats

Cute (general tag)

Dogs

Wholesome

Fandoms

Animal Crossing

Card Captor Sakura

Disney

Doctor Who

Marvel/MCU

Nintendo

Star Trek

Star Trek: TNG

Star Trek: Voyager

Star Wars

Super Mario

WordGirl

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Fanworks

Fan art

Fan comics

Fan crafts

Fanfiction

Fictional Characters (alpha by work title)

Syaoran Li (Card Captor Sakura)

The Eighth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Cinderella (Disney, 1950)

Belle (Disney, 1991)

Loki (MCU, 2011-present)

Princess Peach (Super Mario)

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[kyameron]

Tag how many mutuals you want to ask these 33 questions to

1).Name and nickname: Cameron but everyone calls me Cam of course

2).meaning of your tumblr username: its how my name would be pronounced in Japanese

3).What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?traveling outisde the country,,seeing the places I have on my travel bucket list

4).What accomplishment are you most proud of? having my own space both physically and mentally just an quiet and calm life

5).What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again? I went bungie jumping before and am questioning if ill actually do it again

6).What type of music are you into?: I listen to alot alternative rap rock n roll and dream pop, indie artist and some old school here and there

7).What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?public speaking infrontof my elementary class in an play

8).What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you? my whole personality

9).If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?To be an billionare but no known or famous, to be married to Rihanna lol and to have all of the hot cheetos i can eat without getting heart burns

10).If you had superpowers, which one would you have and why?: mines would be teleportation so I would never get caught lacking 😅

11).What is the strongest animal you could win against with just your bare hands and feet?I would say racoon when there not looking at me..sooo am going to sneak them pretty much

12).What is your strongest qualities?: trustworthiness, loyalty,observant and crazy still 😂

13).What's the best advice a family member gave you growing up?:never trust anybody..not even the ones close to you

14).if you could have an one night stand with anybody who would it be?..it could even be an mutual if you like or celebrity: i want be too spicy..ill let yall answer that lol

15).Ethnicity & Nationality and do you take pride in it?: Black Americana with a little bit of native American because my great great grandma was native I think 😑😅

16).hobbies or talents: I know how to write poetry but to shy to speak it.I've done martial arts Like Boxing,Muay thai and kickboxing plus alittle bit of Brazilian jiu-jitsu.I also love dancing and doing sports like soccer,Baseball and track and field.but lastly I love watching anime and tv shows/movies.

17).what is your fashion style: i love streetwear so pretty much alot of oversized stuff. i love to mix it up wearing comfy and cozy clothing just chilling i guess ,love matching colors together and i love pearls!.

18).What do most people overestimate or underestimate about you? i think most people underestimate me because am an slim guy the usual things and how petty I can get because i can get real petty for shits and giggles lol

19)..are you an lover or fighter: both at times i love intimacy and physicality if I have too lol

20).If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?: Tyler the creator

21).What problem are you currently grappling with?: Anxiety

22).What's your favorite physical attribute about yourself?: My hair

23).What hobby/talent have you always wanted to develop?:playing the guitar

24).What’s the certain product you couldn’t live without? chapstick becuase my lips can get dry quick sometimes lol

25).what is one thing you would change about yourself: try to be more calmer and less anger at times

26).What personality traits did you get from your parents?: well i think i have there sense of humor and straightforwardness..no time for Bullshit

27).Which one do you prefer: being controlled or be in control?: well if were being kinky i like to be in control and for her to be in control if shes ontop lol

28).What are your phobias? spiders..spiders..spiders and spiders and i think i hate heights too especially i might piss me pants lol

29).What qualities do you want in a partner who will be with you for the rest of your life?: funny,smart,goofy,weird and needs to love anime or else lol.someone who isnt afriad to show there emotions on there sleeve to me ..someone am comfortable to talk too

30).Who is your role model in life? Idk never really had like an role model i know personally .

31).What are the things that drive you crazy? ppl who burp to much or loud,,eating with your mouth open.. people whos always gossiping ...overly loud people and ppl who always trying to start drama

32).Do you plan to have kids?:yes and i want twins or an daughter

33).Would you rather visit your ancestors in the past or meet your descendants in the future? going to the future because we already know what happened in the past..aint no way lol

tag your it: @yeruka @6th--raikage @saucegotti @chynese-panda @bitchpleaseee @poeticjiggy @thefuckingvillian @ricebeansandplatanos @pactivist @milfmamii @theeheadturner @thewolfandhismoon @capricornmami @eyezehuhh @suki-starburst @theryanproject @hotboygucciglockboy @hopeellis @operationgloomsday @klends

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Hola Cheeto! You seem like a good person to ask this:

I’m feeling like my writing is in a bit of a slump, like I’m saying things in the same way every time. Do you have any advice on how to spice up one’s writing?

:)

Hey! First off, I would like to offer an encouragement. A lot of times in the art world, they say getting into a slump means you're about to have a wonderful breakthrough/revelation. I believe that the same thing occurs in writing. So, don't worry. Just keep pushing, and you'll reach that breakthrough your subconscious is cooking up <3

Anyways, I do have a few words of advice, if you want to speed the process up :)

1. Read. A LOT

In general, I believe that input = output, when it comes to reading and writing. Not in an easy 1:1 way, but in the way that your style, your storylines, and your choices are influenced by authors you read. Thus, if you want to improve your writing, my number one piece of advice would be to read, and to target your reading. If you're struggling with vocabulary, read some poetry. If you're struggling with original plotlines and emotional turns, read outside of your regular genre in order to get yourself some more perspective. Bing some fics that capture the feeling you're going for, and figure out not only what they do right, but how. Heck, read a fic that makes the same mistake as you do, see if you can figure out where they went wrong and how you'd fix the mistake in your own work. We're all learning together, and it's a great process <3

2. Identify and analyze the problem in your own work

Reread one of your pieces that doesn't jive with you, and not only identify where it doesn't work, but justify why it doesn't work with evidence. If your words are repetitive, highlight them and perhaps make yourself a list of your crutch words. If your action isn't strong enough, figure out which verbs you can spice up and how you can streamline your cause/effect to get the most punch out of your sentences. If your scenarios are repetitive across your writing, you can note that too, if it bothers you. If you can't figure what's wrong---instead, mark the places that you DO like, and by process of elimination you can probably figure it out. Next, as in the step before, brainstorm how to fix it. Search up some synonyms to your crutch words. Read some professional author's advice on how to reorder your fight scenes. Search up tropes that you may not have used before, etc.

However, we are our own worst critics when it comes to self-evaluation, and paying attention while you read and taking notes can feel like a high school English class and can be rather unenjoyable. Additionally, insecurity can make us see mistakes where there are none. So, here's my final piece of advice.

3. Beta Read (And if you can, swap beta read)

This is the best of both worlds, in my opinion, and the one that has improved my writing the most. First, you get your eyes on another's work, and you're literally tasked to pick out the things that you don't like and to say why, which gives you more experience to do so in your own work and perhaps even lets you solve a few problems in your own work before they even crop up. Additionally, you now don't have to go through the horrible slog of evaluating your own work (although, you probably shouldn't give it to the other person until it's pretty postable (@needfantasticstories I'm so sorry I'm so sorry about Ch 24 Skip I'm sorry about the convolutedness of Arc 3 please---)). You can ask THEM to figure out what's wrong where, and, if they're open to it, you can brainstorm together how to fix it, which is so much more fun than doing it alone. Heck, if you have a good idea what's wrong, you can set them after it specifically. And obviously, you don't have to take a beta's advice if you don't think it fits (phrases that belong on wattpad) but it's a good way to get your brain chugging on how you should fix it.

Anyways, there's my little rant. If you're already doing all of the above---my advice would be to just keep pushing, friend. As I said before, I've heard that in the art world, a slump means you're about to have a breakthrough. It's not that your work has gotten worse, it's just that your taste has changed and gotten better---now, your skill just has to catch up to that new level. You'll do great things, whatever it is that you're cooking up. I know that you've got this.

[loganslowdown4]

Incorrect Sanders Sides

Jan-Mar 2023

Goodwill Hunting

Big Boy Word

Marry Christmas (logince)

Santa Asks Remus

Cry Management

Suffer

Muggy Joke…but with Virgil

Midnight Kiss (Logince, Moceit)

Pick Your Favourite

You’re So Hot (loceit)

New Year New Me

Jumper Cables

How Do I Look?

Seductive Glasses (analogical)

Secret Keeper

Lost Balance For You (logicality)

Mad Cute (anxceit)

Lost Glasses Fee (Intrulogical)

Back Pocket Mustache (Demus)

Prinxiety Tummy Ache Owwie

Wallet Picture (Demus)

Allergic (anxceit)

Broke The Bed (Roceit)

Patton’s Many Cakes

Sleep’s 8 Minutes

Genius or Arrogance? (Loceit)

Alphabetized List

Magical Hands (Moceit)

Don’t Lie To Me (Intruality)

Snuggle Pile

Tell Me I’m Pretty (Logince Week Day 1)

Three Small Words (Logince Week Day 2)

Boys! (Logince Week Day 3)

So Hot In Here (Logince Week Day 6)

Slow Dance With You (Logince Week Day 5)

Botched Proposal (Logince Week Day 6)

Drunk Flirting (Logince Week Day 7)

Life Swear

Last Slice

Spice Things Up (Logince)

Something From The Imagination (Roceit)

Reputation Ruined (roceit)

Competition

10/10 (lomoceit)

Hard to Flirt (logince)

Arch-Rivals

Bad Boy (prinxiety)

Writing Season 2

Poison Revenge (roceit)

Embarrassing Dad

Threatening Cupcake

Hospital Trip (prinxiety)

Under Control

Casual Thinking Face (Intrulogical)

Stuck In The Middle (Romoceit)

A$$hole Ballet

I’m Bored (roceit)

Made You Cry

Peer Pressure

Breakfast Drinks

Upset (anxceit)

Don’t Go Breakin My Heart

S.M.A.R.T.

Join Us Or Die

Improv Lessons

Princey

Slushies (logince)

Orange Workout

May I Sit Here (Loceit)

Disney Jokes With Patton

Bad Grammar (Intrulogical)

Shady Stairs

Idiot Twins At It Again

Progress Report

Smile Because I Feel Like It

Teaching Spanish

Tea For The Enemy

Introductions (prinxiety)

Robots In Disgust (moceit)

Hydrate or Die-drate

Yummy Duct Tape

Virgil’s Motivational Speech

Where To Stab

Fitness Motivation

Evil Doers

I Never Said That (roceit)

Fathers Appreciation Card

When In Doubt (prinxiety)

Good Night Son

Cut You…Some Apple Slices!

Double Dad Joke

Heart Condition (dukexiety)

Do. Not.

I Believe In You

Burnt Out

Cheetos Diet

Not Married (logince)

Change Topics (roceit)

Turn My Life Around

Fire Advice

[goodgrammaritan]

Gratitude Journal

Memories of Grandma

-Sleepovers with all the granddaughters, where we'd always make her a gift (small pillow, wreath, vest made of ties), and she'd always make sure to have cheese balls on hand because we loved them (you know, basically spherical Cheetos, is that still a thing?)

-A sleepover I did by myself when all the other cousins were at summer camp, and I got lonely and sad, and she took me shopping and got me the Pocahontas Barbie

-Decorating cookies at Christmas

-Her famous Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cookies, and how one time she forgot to take off the inner wrappers, and so we had to take a bite, remove the wrapper, then continue eating ("I thought it took 15 minutes less than usual!")

-Her love of Turner Classic Movies, especially Frank Sinatra

-Matching stuffed animals for all the granddaughters every Christmas (and scarves when we were older)

-How she saved a pine cone Nativity Scene we granddaughters made for her as kids, and how she displayed it every year no matter how raggedy it got

-Her uncanny ability to mail a birthday card so it would arrive precisely on your birthday (barring Sundays and postal holidays)

-When she used to include money, like $5 or $10, and would jokingly write, "Don't spend it all in one place!"

-She mailed me letters more often in college, especially if her People magazine had pictures of Johnny Depp, which she would cut out and mail to me

-Her advice for good posture: "Shoulders back, knockers out"

-Her enormous collection of butterflies. I once tried to count how many she had, and gave up somewhere after 100.

-Her name was Mildred, and as a teen when she thought about being a singer, she decided her stage name would be "Mimi K"

-When I got my eyebrow pierced and most of the adults in the family were less than enthused, she said "You'd have to do something pretty terrible for me not to like something about your appearance"

-How much she loved Grandpa, and said his eyes would twinkle whenever he looked at her

-How she was so vibrant and full of life, moving independently with her walker at 98 years old

February 13, 1924 - June 23, 2022

(The church was PACKED for her funeral. I think she would've been pleased.)

07/10/22

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 1: Logince

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 1: Your soulmate’s name is on your wrist.

Content: Flower/Tattoo Shop AU, background character death (unspecified cause, none of the sides), that’s pretty much it, it’s just soft Logince.

Word count: 2.7k

A small ding from the store entrance pulled Roman out of his thoughts, and he groaned softly. It was nearing the end of his shift, almost closing time, and another customer at this time would probably mean he was staying after hours again. All he wanted to do was go home and watch cheap reality TV in his sweatpants while shoveling handfuls of hot cheetos into his mouth. So sue him, it had been a long day. But nooo. Someone else had just walked in, probably someone with a very specific style that was out of season and they would argue for half an hour, no matter how many times he explained that tulips aren’t blooming right now, Vanessa! 

Sure, usually his customers were great. Nervous first anniversaries, eccentric brides, all that romance stuff. He loved it. And they were usually all too willing to give him a budget and a color scheme and let him go wild, which was the best part about his job. He was good at it, too. His boss had seen his eye for style and almost immediately gave him solo shifts, which meant decently good pay and hours alone to belt out songs amongst the flowers and daydream to his heart’s content. It was a small enough business that the only mandatory part of his outfit was a green apron, so he could wear whatever he wanted, and he didn’t need a pesky nametag. Those had always weirded him out just a bit. So yeah, he loved his job, but right now, he knew himself too well. He had awful luck. 

With a forced customer service grin, he poked out of the backroom and began his usual spiel of, “Thanks for coming to The Rainbow Bouquet, what can I get started…” 

His words died in his throat at the mere sight of the man before him. Never had he been so equally attracted and frightened at the same time.

He was tall, probably just taller than him, but he held himself in a way that made Roman feel miniscule. Both arms were covered in tattoo sleeves, the left one a flurried mix of black and white and color, beautiful strips of pink and blue galaxies blending with grayscale skulls and clocks. The other had more order; shadows of a forest growing from around his wrist, shimmering mist curling up over his bicep and ending with a full moon stamped on his shoulder like a crest. A corner of something peaked up around the collar of his torn vest, and if Roman had to guess, there were most likely plenty more tattoos that were covered by his ripped black jeans and blue Nasa shirt. Not that his mind was going there at all, no siree. 

Once Roman’s brain had screeched to a halt back in his body, he spoke again.

“What can I get started for you today?”

The man swallowed with difficulty, taking in the rows and rows of flowers surrounding him. He definitely didn’t look in his element.

“I need an arrangement for my mother. She’s in the hospital.”

Ah, the part of the job that Roman didn’t enjoy. Probably half the orders that came in were for sick people or funerals, and those were always a lot harder to arrange. It was always hard to find joy in creating for something so dismal.

“I’m sorry to hear. Did you have anything specific in mind? Does she have a favorite flower?”

“Daisies. She likes Daisies,” He murmured, still admiring the space around him. Roman couldn’t help but smile at the man’s expression. It was just a little awe inspired, a little bit of childish wonder, under that rough exterior. It was a gorgeous shop, that’s one of the reasons Roman had started working there.

“That’s good, it makes it a little easier for me to design something when I have that to go off of. Do you have a budget, or…”

He shook his head weakly, finally turning to look at Roman. “Price isn’t an issue. This is one of the last things I’m going to be able to give her.”

“Oh,” Roman whispered, slowly putting down the pen he’d been writing with, “I’m so sorry.”

“It can’t be changed. There’s no point in losing sleep over it.”

“Just because it’s going to happen doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. You’re allowed to be sad about it.”

The man narrowed his eyes, giving Roman a once over before lifting his chin slightly. “I don’t need advice from a stranger.”

“Of course you don’t,” Roman quickly corrected, remembering he was still at work, “My apologies. When did you want to pick it up?”

“I’m visiting her tomorrow at noon. Could it be ready by then?”

“You bet. Can I have a name for the pick up?”

“Logan.” Roman’s pen skittered over his notepad, almost falling through his fingers. 

Having a common name on your wrist was a curse in and of itself. And poor him, the hopeless romantic that he was, had met countless “Logan’s” in his day, and consequently fallen for most of them at first introduction, only to figure out quickly that they weren’t destined for a “Roman”. As inconspicuously as possible, he tried to glance down at Logan’s wrist, only finding a mass of swirling tattoos covering his skin. Dammit. There were some people born without soulmates, or had their soulmark fade to nothingness when their person passed away, and he tried not to think too terribly hard on which one Logan was. He tampered his rush of excitement as quickly as it had arisen and turned back to his notes, ignoring Logan’s raised eyebrow at his sudden stop.

Roman scribbled down the name and phone number as it was given, setting down the notepad with a customer service smile. The man spent no time dawdling, immediately starting towards the door, only to hesitate before walking out.

“Her favorite color is yellow.”

Roman nodded, the fake smile slowly morphing into an authentic one. “I can work with that.”

It was now a week after Logan had picked up the bouquet, a somewhat awkward interaction filled with small compliments towards the arrangement and Roman nearly dropping the flowers as their fingers touched while passing it over. As he was ringing up the total, he’d been able to uphold a brief conversation where Logan revealed he was a tattoo artist (no shock, considering he showed more inked skin than plain), and Roman showed off his rose tattoo on his upper arm. It would have been fine if the conversation ended there, but no, Logan had to reach up tentatively to brush his finger along the edge of the piece, commenting off handedly about how the color had started to fade.

“How long ago did you get this done?”

“Probably ten years, give or take.”

“You’re what, mid twenties? There’s no way you were legal ten years ago.”

“Who said I was?” It was said with a small wink that made Logan pull his hand away, an action that immediately dampened Roman’s mood.

“If you ever want it touched up, come by the shop. It’s just down the road.”

Roman had promised to consider, pulling the collar of his long sleeve shirt back up over the rose and bidding the man a good visit to his mother. Even now, a full week later, he couldn’t help his thoughts that were so centered around the tattoo artist. So maybe that was why Logan walked back into the shop the following Wednesday. I simped so hard I summoned him, Roman thought weakly as the gorgeous man strode straight up to the counter, leaning on it like he owned it. 

“I have a question.”

“What’s your question?  

“A client asked me yesterday to design a tattoo for her. A bouquet, seen from the top, and all she specified was it should feature hydrangeas, and she asked me to, quote, ‘go nuts’.”

“This isn’t sounding like a question so far.”

Logan sighed apprehensively, adjusting his glasses, “I was hoping you could give me some ideas on how to start. All the tips I found online contradicted each other in some way or another, and the arrangement you created for my mother was so well done…”

He trailed off, giving Roman a look that clearly said I need your help but don’t make me ask for it. Chuckling slightly, he leaned onto the counter as well, his face inches away from Logan’s. For the first time, he could see the small piercing on the man’s tongue as he sighed again. God, that’s hot.

“I’ll help you. On one condition.” 

“Being?” 

“Help me design my next tattoo.” In full honesty, he hadn’t even considered a second tattoo until that second. 

“Deal.” There was no hesitation in his answer, and he took Roman’s offered hand, barely shaking it in the small space between them. 

“Alright!” Roman pulled back, satisfied but disappointed as their hands separated, “Let’s talk flowers!”

And talk they did. For hours, in fact. It started with Logan’s tattoo dilemma, and Roman’s skillful eye and creative mind solved that problem in a flash, crudely drawing out a bouquet idea that fit all the criteria. The tattoo artist took it from there, using the notepad paper and Roman’s sketch, along with a quick round of the shop to see what the recommended flowers, fillers, and greens would all look like, and drew out a detailed piece that put Roman’s own art talent to shame. After explaining that his shift was done at the parlor and he had the rest of the afternoon free, Roman invited Logan to stay for a while longer, seeing as his day had dragged on customer-less so far, and he was bored. Plus, now was as good a time as any to pay back the favor. Two mugs of breakroom coffee later, the two were huddled around the counter, Roman describing his ideas and Logan sketching them like there was no tomorrow. Maybe half way through the brainstorm, the conversation switched to Logan’s mother (which he talked about hesitantly), then to Roman’s family, slowly changing to the absurdity of satin couch cushions, then to their favorite foods, and finally ending with a loud debate on whether pineapple deserved to be on pizza.

“It’s a fruit, Logan! Why the hell would you put fruit on a pizza?!”

“All I’m saying is that the sweet flavor of the pineapple balances out the tanginess of the marinara sauce, and adds more to the plain crust!”

“That doesn’t make it right!”

Logan had to go soon after that, wanting to visit his mom before visiting hours ended. He left with a begrudging smile on his face and a promise to come back another day, drawing an ear to ear grin from Roman. He’s just a friend, he reprimanded himself sternly, all the while sliding the drawing of his next possible tattoo into his phone case with startling reverence. No use getting attached to some who wasn’t his soulmate. 

Yet, he still couldn’t help but feel saddened as a week passed again, then two, then a month. His job had returned to it’s boring normalcy, with only the flowers and no cute boy to keep him company. Even when he sat at his little desk next to the counter, hands working effortlessly to string together order after order, he couldn’t help the occasional glance at the door. The hope that his prince charming would waltz back in, piercings and ripped clothing galore, never faded. 

A month and a half later, the little chime above the door dinged, and Roman glanced up from his handful of Baby’s Breath (seriously people, there are other fillers). Immediately a huge smile pulled at his lips and he dropped the half finished bouquet onto his table.

“Logan! What took you so… long…” His expression morphed into one of worry as he took in the other’s appearance. Gone was the usual grunge attire he was so prone to wearing, replaced with a black hoodie and beaten up Vans. His eyes no longer held that dangerous glimmer that had intimidated Roman so much when they first met. He just looked… small. Logan had never looked small before.

“My mom died last month,” He whispered.

Roman was over the desk in a second, pulling the man into his arms before he could protest. It took Logan a second, a long, awkward, stiff second, before he let his arms wrap around his waist, allowing his forehead to rest on the florist’s shoulder. 

“I thought I’d be okay when she died… it was inevitable. It was her time… so why does it still hurt so bad?” The desperate whisper shattered Roman’s heart. 

“You’re allowed to feel sad, Logan.” He felt him merely shake his head in response, but he said nothing to push the topic further. 

Logan didn’t cry as they stood there, though he clung to Roman almost desperately. If he had to guess, the poor man was probably already cried out. He looked exhausted, and his unusually slumped posture only weakened more when Roman tightened his arms ever so slightly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. You were probably waiting.”

“Hey, no apologizing.”

“I just… didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“So what changed your mind?”

Logan shrugged, still not pulling away, “I couldn’t seem to snap myself out of it. And I needed someone who wouldn’t laugh at me. If our few interactions were anything to go by, you were that person.”

Roman decided to ignore the blatant implication that Logan didn’t have anyone except a practical stranger to go to. They could talk about that later, if he decided to stay for a while. Roman really hoped he did. 

When the tattoo artist finally pulled out of the hug, many minutes later, he pushed his sweater paws under his glasses to scrub at his eyes. Maybe he hadn’t cried, but he sure was close to it. 

“I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I don’t even know your name, and I-”

“It’s okay, stop-” Roman reeled back slightly, eyebrows shooting into his hairline, “Oh… sweet Zac Efron. I never told you my name! Why didn’t you say anything?!” 

“It felt too late to ask,” Logan smirked subtly despite himself, letting his hands fall back to his side.

“Oh, my sweet summer child.”

“I am none of those things.”

Roman sighed in soft exasperation, smiling at the barely perceivable glimmer in the other’s eyes. Ah, there it is. “My name’s Roman. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.”

He was instantly concerned with the way Logan’s face fell into one of total shock. Shit, what did he do wrong? The fear was quickly replaced with understanding, however, as the artist’s hand drifted to his right wrist. 

“What are the chances that your wrist says my name on it?” Logan said it like he was scared to be hopeful, like a happy ending was just not imaginable for him. Roman couldn’t comprehend all the emotions he felt at one time; elation, shock, fear. He answered in a choked voice, smiling all the while. 

“One hundred percent.”

The both upturned their arms in near harmony, Roman pulling his gardening glove down to reveal the name. He squinted at Logan’s wrist, finally noticing the small writing that just barely stood out underneath a grayscale (anatomically correct) heart. No wonder he missed it before, it almost blended in with the outline. 

And then Logan did cry, but so did Roman, so it was a little more okay. He seemed more confused than anything as Roman pulled him back in, holding him even tighter than before.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I’m so unused to… well, feeling. I’m not usually like this, I believe I’m just sleep deprived and worn out from-”

“You never, ever need to be guilty for feeling, you absolute punk stereotype.” Roman pressed a long kiss to the other’s temple, letting him unwind in his arms. “We’ll work on that together. I promise.”

A muffled affirmative hum was all he got in response. He pressed another kiss to the top of Logan’s head as his crying slowed, breathing out heavily into the man’s hair. Together. That’s all that mattered.  

Peep this gorgeous art piece for this fic

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

Truth and Awakenings Ch. 7

Summary: A Jemily rewrite of certain scenes in 14x15-15x03, with a few additional scenes :)

Chapter summary: JJ finally opens up to Emily (part two of the previous chapter).

Read on AO3

@jemilyisms @binariesarebullshit @bridget19

What was Emily going to do now? This was the first ever fight she and JJ had with each other. Even when they were just friends, they had never fought like this. It was always a series of non-verbal communication and check-ins, but never an outburst.

Emily looked for a piece of paper and a pen, writing JJ a note that she was going to clear her head for a bit. She walked outside after leaving the note on the kitchen counter, and texted Penelope that she was going to work on her paperwork while watching JJ. Emily had lied to the tech analyst once again because she was sure the blonde agent didn’t want her back in her house; she just needed time for her thoughts.

Emily checked the time on her watch before going to her car. Once she was inside, she turned her engine on and started driving back home. Her mind only ran with thoughts about her relationship with JJ, or a lack thereof, at this point. What if this whole thing was her fault? She was the one who suggested they split up and it got someone hurt. She scoffed at herself, Great thinking. Maybe she was being too harsh and strict. JJ’s not a little kid, she’s a grown up, for crying out loud.

Upon the arrival of her home, she shut her car off and loosened her grip on the steering wheel. The corners of her mouth pulled downwards and she blinked her eyes a few times. She didn’t realize she was about to cry until her chest hiccupped and a little whimper escaped from her mouth.

Another relationship failed, Emily thought, and it barely even started.

Back in JJ’s house, the blonde was still in her room, curled up in a fetal position on her bed. This was the only time she was able to cope with her problems, all by herself in a lonely room. It all seemed metaphorical to her, now with Emily gone. JJ pressed her face into her pillow, muffling her sobs.

Why did Emily want to be with her? All JJ felt like was a burden to the older woman. She couldn’t even solve her own problems properly, so why would Emily help her? She doesn’t deserve her kindness or selflessness. Throughout her life, JJ worked herself too hard to deal with her emotions. She never learned to slow down when she needed to. Instead, she rejected everyone’s sympathy towards her, feeling that she’s just wasting their time.

JJ hated another thing. She hated pity. That was another thing that made her feel like a coward.

Emily got inside her apartment and decided to take a shower to clean up and hopefully, get rid of her thoughts. She figured JJ was acting the way she is because of what happened a few weeks ago. She couldn't help but feel guilty. This shooting incident would've landed her into a lot of trouble as a unit chief. As a friend slash recently new lover, JJ hates her for pushing.

After her shower, she got dressed in more casual attire, wearing black jeans and a red short sleeve shirt. She contemplated calling Will to ask how she can help JJ work through her problems. Then, Emily picked up her phone and dialed his number.

After the first two rings, Will picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Will, I need your help with something,” Emily scratched the back of her head. This felt a little embarrassing, asking JJ’s ex for advice on how to deal with her situation with her current lover. This was definitely not something both of them have talked about before.

“Sure, what is it?”

“You know JJ pretty well, uh… how did you deal with her, um, her problems?” she awkwardly asked.

He chuckled into the phone. “She shutting you out?”

Emily sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Look, Emily. If there’s one thing I learned from being in a relationship with Jennifer Jareau is to never push. Give her some time for herself and maybe give yourself some time, too. I think it’s best for you both,” Will gave her sincere advice. Emily hoped it would work because she didn’t want to mess up the relationship she’s always wanted.

“Do you think it’ll work?”

He sighed on the other end. “Sometimes, it will. When she’s good enough to talk, just be all ears.” He can’t lie. Will had been on the receiving end of JJ’s reluctance to open up before, and he was willing to help Emily, if it meant saving the women’s relationship with each other.

“Alright. Thanks, Will.”

“No problem.” She hung up and exhaled out a breath. Emily now knew that she shouldn’t push JJ into talking. Thinking back to their argument, she should’ve known that JJ hated feeling weak. She should’ve known that the blonde always closed her emotions off. However, Emily wasn’t going to let this stop her. She was determined to make this relationship work and she wanted to remind JJ she was going to be there for her, no matter what. It was going to be tough and she knows that, especially since both of them like to avoid their feelings, but it’s a sacrifice she was willing to make.

The grey-haired woman started on her paperwork to get her mind occupied on that, instead of JJ.

Moments later, JJ finally came out of her room and wiped her tear-stained cheeks, sniffling a little. She slowly walked into the living room and found no one there. With a confused expression, she checked the kitchen to find Emily, but she wasn’t there either. JJ did, however, find a note on the counter.

Went out for a bit. I’ll see you soon.

Was Emily still mad at her? Was she actually coming back at all? JJ had so many doubts in her head that she could barely keep up. She let out a breath and decided to get her mind off this other problem.

She looked in her fridge and brought out butter and eggs, setting them down on the counter. This was one of the ways JJ liked dealing with her problems, by baking. She then went through her pantry to find a few more ingredients, including chocolate chips and sugar.

After preheating the oven and preparing the cookies she’d planned to make, she set a timer on her phone and sat down on the couch. With a sigh, the blonde woman grabbed a sheet of blue construction paper on the table her sons use to draw on and a black crayon, because she had no other choice. JJ tapped on the crayon with her finger and started writing, Reasons to love Emily Prentiss.

She thought about all the things she loved about Emily. What made JJ attracted to Emily in the first place. She began writing.

Emily is beautiful. It’s no surprise that Emily could attract anyone within a mile from her. Her dark hair in contrast to her own light hair, a face that could be taken for the beauty of an old Hollywood actress, her soothing low voice, and those bedroom eyes. JJ loved them all.

Emily is smart. A lot of people underestimate Emily’s intelligence, hell, she was probably just as smart as Spencer. JJ was always so amazed that someone like Emily could be tough, smart, and pretty all at the same time.

Emily is confident. JJ loved seeing Emily hold her ground as a unit chief and as a person. She never had any doubt that Emily was doing the right thing.

The timer on JJ’s phone snapped her out of her thoughts. She dropped the crayon on the table and started getting the cookies into the oven, setting the timer on her phone again. She sighed and went back to her list.

Emily is good with kids. JJ had first witnessed Emily’s care for kids since Carrie Ortiz, a young girl they had encountered in one of their cases. She knew right there and then that Emily was going to be a good mother. Seeing her with her sons, JJ fell in love with her even more.

Emily is caring. Emily always puts others’ needs before herself. She always made sure everyone was ok. JJ admired that.

Emily is a good listener. This may be a shock to a lot of people, but Emily was an approachable person. She was that type of friend who was willing to listen to your problems. JJ loved that about her.

Emily... JJ thought about what else she loved about the older woman. She finally found herself writing: saved my life.

Emily had been there for JJ so many times she could count. Emily was always ready to sacrifice her life to save JJ’s. She literally and figuratively had JJ’s life in her hands, and the blonde feels like she hasn’t thanked her enough for doing so.

JJ’s head shot up when she heard the oven go off, distracting her from her thoughts once again. She stood up and went to the kitchen to get the cookies out, picking one up to eat one, since she was beginning to feel hungry. It was soft. Perfect, just the way she wanted it. JJ’s eyes went wide as she came to a realization once she tasted the chocolate chip cookie.

She needed Emily. She couldn’t keep her mind off her this entire time. In fact, she was eating one of Emily’s favorite things in the entire world, sweets. JJ needed Emily.

It was nighttime and Emily decided to get a little snack. The unit chief had been spending her time and energy buried in paperwork to get her mind off of JJ and her safety. She searched through her pantry to find something that would satiate her hunger, only to find a small packet of cheetos. JJ’s favorite snack in the whole world. Emily would always have packets of cheetos for JJ whenever she came over to her apartment and recently, whenever she visited the blonde’s house.

With a bittersweet chuckle, she grabbed the item and opened it. While eating a few cheetos, she debated if she should check on the other woman tonight. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave her alone this whole day. No. This is what JJ wanted, some space for herself.

If there’s one thing I learned from being in a relationship with Jennifer Jareau is to never push, Will’s words entered her mind.

Emily needed to give the younger woman some time. So, she left her decision-making behind for a bit and continued eating.

*crack* *crack* *crack*

JJ’s body hit back as she felt the prickly feeling below the lower left side of her Kevlar vest. She flipped over before her back hit the ground. Her breathing came out in short and uneven pants, rapidly blinking her eyes once her vision became blurry. All she heard was faint laughter and tires screeching away from her. JJ closed her eyes and felt the blood pooling in her throat, coughing it out and tasting the coppery liquid.

“Emily…” she coughed out, “Emily…” It became harder to breathe and she grunted, clenching her jaw tight and hands into fists as she did so. JJ tried moving, but it couldn’t work because with the slightest bit of movement, she would experience even more pain. ‘Damn it’, she thought and rested her head back on the ground. She desperately hoped Emily was coming to save her.

Right.

About.

Now.

She turned her head to the left to see if there was anyone there.

Nobody was there. Then, she heard a faint voice in the same direction she was facing. “Mommy!”

JJ wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion. That’s not Emily.

“Mom!” The voice echoed in the parking garage, which had eventually faded away, and transformed into a grassy area instead, with a clear blue sky above her head. She tried moving her body again and found it somehow easy standing back up, despite stumbling a little. JJ blinked her eyes again and saw two blurry figures. She blinked again, rubbing her eyes, and her vision became clear. It was her sons, but they looked a little different.

“Mom! I finally got in!” Henry said, back turned away from her. His voice sounded a little deeper to JJ’s ears, and he looked a little taller than her. Michael was there beside him, with his hand in his pockets, and he looked a little taller than she remembered, too.

“Henry? Mikey?” JJ strained out in a small whisper. “What are you talking about? Wha- what are you boys doing here?”

Another figure walked up from behind her, startling JJ. The said figure had gray hair and was wearing a big smile on their face, holding little red and white flowers in their hands. “Hi, JJ,” the unnamed person said. “Our boys are graduating.”

JJ squinted her eyes to get a clearer visual on the third person. “Emily?” She was still confused. Why did Emily say their boys were graduating? Henry hasn’t even gone through middle or high school yet, and Michael hasn’t started school yet, either. JJ walked up beside them and watched the scene unfold in front of her.

Once the blonde woman walked up to them, she looked down where their eyes were pointed at. Her eyes widened in realization and shock when she saw what was in front of them. It was an all too familiar sight. It was a gravestone, but it had her name, the FBI motto, date of birth, and the day she was shot.

She… died? JJ was having a hard time understanding this. She made it through all the procedures at the hospital, so how was she dead?

“Emily?” she tried calling out to her again. It seemed like the older woman and the kids didn’t notice because they didn’t look up.

“I finally made it to Yale, mom,” Henry smiled, feeling proud of himself. “Mama’s helping me.”

“Ah, hold on. I told him we’re not using the Prentiss name. He needed to work hard for it and get in with merit,” Emily laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “And Mikey’s starting middle school soon, can you believe that? Our little ones are growing up.”

JJ let out a small breath and tears came to her eyes, but she still didn’t know what was happening. Why were her sons growing too fast all of a sudden? Why wasn’t she there to witness it? JJ furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to make sense of all this.

Then, the two boys faded away and there was only Emily left standing. She had an almost melancholic smile across her face. “Hey, honey,” she knelt down in front of the grave and sighed.

“I did everything you wanted for the boys. They have-” Emily cleared her throat. “They have families of their own now. The team helped, too. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

The even more prominently gray-haired woman sniffled and licked her lips. “You would’ve been so proud of them. I know I am. I wish you were here to see all this. The boys are the only ones I have left of you, ever since…” She exhaled and closed her eyes. Her eyes started watering once she opened them again. “I, um, I really miss you, JJ,” Emily’s voice cracked in a small whisper. “Every day, I do. I wish we had more time together. I’ll never forget you.”

Soon as she was finished, Emily faded away and JJ reached her hands out as if to grab her back and hold her in place. “No, Emily! Emily, please don’t leave me!”

JJ’s eyes flew open as she quickly sat up, panting and feeling her heart race faster than normal. Her eyes blinked a few times to remind herself of where she was. She heard the doorbell ring and it alerted all of her senses. Pulling off the covers, she stood up and dashed to the front door, opening it.

“Emily?”

The other woman was fumbling with her hands and looked up to meet her face. “JJ.”

“What are you doing here?” JJ’s voice was small. She couldn’t believe Emily had actually come for her, after everything that happened earlier that day.

“I came to apologize for- oh!” Emily gasped once she felt JJ pulling her arm, wanting her to get inside the house. The blonde wordlessly put her arms around Emily’s neck and hugged her tight. She heard the door close and felt Emily’s arms reciprocate the action.

“I’m so sorry, Emily. I didn’t mean any of what I said,” JJ apologized for her earlier actions. “You probably hate me right now, don’t you?”

“Shh, it’s ok. I don’t hate you, JJ,” Emily kissed the side of her head and soothingly rubbed her back. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” JJ frowned. “I acted so shitty. You don’t deserve that.” She took this time to bury her face into her neck and her body began to relax. JJ needed this. She needed to feel the warmth and security in Emily's arms, that Emily wouldn’t fade away and that she was still here right in front of her.

Emily only stayed quiet and continued holding JJ for a little longer. She figured the blonde just wanted comfort and didn’t push her into talking. After a few more seconds, she started pulling away and felt strong arms stopping her from doing so.

“Emily- Emily, please,” JJ mumbled and tightened her grip. “Please don’t leave me.”

Emily recognized those words. They were the same ones JJ had said to her when she found her shot and on the ground of the parking lot. “It’s ok. I got you, JJ,” she repeated her own words back to the younger woman.

JJ slowly moved her head from Emily’s neck to look up at her. “I’m scared, Emily.”

It wasn’t unusual in their line of work for someone to get affected by what they do for a living, but seeing JJ in this state of vulnerability was rare for anyone. Somehow, Emily was the only person who’s seen this side of her the most, even more than her own ex-husband and the team. This was a genuine and raw emotion she was seeing from JJ. There it is. JJ’s walls were crumbling down and Emily was finally seeing her at her breaking point. JJ was ready to open up to her about what happened and finally avoided running away from her, like she always did when things got tough.

Emily brushed the hair off her forehead and looked into her sad blue eyes. She didn’t want to pry anything out of her, so she patiently waited until she was ready to talk.

“I, uh…” JJ felt nervous asking this, choosing her words carefully. “Remember how you said you died when you coded?”

Emily nodded, knowing exactly what she was referring to. She only felt cold and darkness when she coded in the ambulance after getting staked by Doyle. She thought there was no hope for her, if and/or when she died, that no one would be there for her.

“I think I died for a few seconds and I got scared,” JJ quietly admitted. She ran her hand in her light hair and slightly pulled back. She took a deep breath and held it for two seconds before exhaling.

“I wasn’t ready to die, Emily. I- I didn’t want to,” she said and glanced down at her lap. “When I got shot, everything just flashed before my eyes. I was afraid I wasn’t going to see Michael or Henry grow up.”

Emily frowned and held JJ’s hand, kissing her palm. She chose to stay quiet and not interrupt the other woman, but made sure JJ knew she was listening to her every word.

“Almost every night since I got shot, I’ve been having these nightmares and-” She hesitated for a second and bit her lip, “kept thinking, ‘what-ifs’, like… what if I didn’t make it alive? What if I never saw the kids grow up and graduate? What if I don’t get to see you or the team ever again? What if…” JJ was already close to tears and heard her voice breaking as she whispered. “What if I never told you I felt?”

JJ let her head fall on Emily’s shoulder and her tears began to wet the fabric of her shirt. Emily moved closer and rubbed her back again. “It’s ok, JJ. Hey, why don’t we go on the couch? Is that ok?” JJ nodded and Emily pulled her to the couch, fixing themselves back to their original position but a lot closer this time with JJ’s head tucked inside the older woman’s neck.

“I don’t want you gone, Emily,” she cried. “Please don’t go.” JJ hated that she sounded like a child, but she needed to assure herself that Emily was here and she’s not dreaming anymore.

Emily kissed her head again. “I’m not going anywhere, JJ. I don’t plan on going anytime soon.” She continued holding onto her and letting her cry in her arms. All she wanted to do was kiss all her worries away and protect the woman in front of her from any more danger.

“I was worried about you, too,” Emily said, pulling away to dry the younger woman’s tears. “I know you’re a fighter, JJ. That’s one of the things I love about you. You never back down from a fight. You get back up on your feet and win. And that’s what you did.”

JJ held back another sob and cupped Emily’s face. “I hope you know this isn’t your fault either, Emily. I never had any doubt of you saving me. Ever.” She emphasized with a short kiss and her fingers lingered her cheek once she pulled back. “I just want you to know that,” she whispered.

“I will always be here for you, JJ,” was all Emily answered with.

JJ nodded and crashed their lips together, taking Emily by surprise at the sudden movement. The blonde quickly moved a hand behind her head to deepen the kiss, feeling their noses brush against each other’s. She wanted to show how much Emily means to her and that she was determined to make their relationship work. It might hurt like it did earlier, maybe even worse than earlier, but they were beginning to learn something about each other, so it was worth it.

Emily quietly moaned once she felt JJ’s nails lightly scratch at the nape of her neck, and she trailed her hands down to grab her hips to pull her closer. JJ’s body responded and she allowed her arms to rest on Emily’s shoulders. The older woman adjusted their position and laid JJ down flat on her back, slightly pushing her legs apart to settle in between them.

She moved her head to place kisses down JJ’s neck, hearing a sigh come from her. JJ slightly stretched her neck and felt Emily’s nose lightly graze her skin. All JJ could think is how soft Emily felt against her body, and she wanted more of her. Emily must have read her mind because she let her hands roam the younger agent’s stomach.

JJ's own hand quickly covered Emily's once she felt its small presence near her wound. She hesitantly pulled back from Emily's mouth with a small gasp and shifted her eyes away from her.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, pulling her head back and stopping her actions to look at JJ.

JJ shook her head, still not making eye contact with her and slowly sat up with Emily following. Emily knew JJ was silent when something was bothering her. She noticed the blonde's hand not moving and staying on the same spot hers was. A small whimper came from JJ and Emily's heart broke at the sound.

JJ curled her fingers and looked back into Emily’s eyes, seeing the amount of care and love in them. “I…” JJ rapidly blinked before sighing and shaking her head. “I can’t keep hiding this from you.”

“What is it?”

JJ fell silent again, and slowly raised Emily’s fingers under her shirt and up to her lower left abdominal area. Emily tilted her head back in an understanding nod. She had been in her place before, so she knows JJ must’ve felt self-conscious about her scars.

Quietly and carefully, Emily grabbed JJ’s right hand, untucking her own shirt from her pants and slightly lifting it up. JJ wrinkled her eyebrows in curiosity and felt her fingers hover Emily’s lower left abdomen, the same place her own wounds were placed. Emily let her brush them over the small and jagged line of the surgical scar.

“Do you feel that?” she whispered, easing her body at JJ’s soft touch. “That was from when I was staked. It took a long time for me to realize that- that it was something I was going to live with for the rest of my life.”

JJ bit her lip to keep from crying again. “I could’ve lost you.” When she got the call about ‘some kind of emergency involving Emily’, JJ wasted no time for thinking and just ran and hopped on the Interpol jet back to the States. During the whole flight back, she barely slept and her mind was filled with a lot of negative thoughts about what could’ve happened to Emily. She couldn’t bear the thought of Emily being so close to death.

“You’ve helped me, JJ. You saved my life,” Emily smiled at her.

“But Morgan said you were ready to let go,” JJ shook her head, barely listening to her. “W- Why would- you could’ve died, Emily! And I would’ve-”

Emily sensed JJ starting to hyperventilate and she lifted JJ’s chin with her finger, putting her forehead against the blonde’s. “Hey. Pay attention to me, JJ. Look at me,” Emily softly said.

JJ followed her instruction and placed the hand she touched Emily’s scar with on the other woman’s heart. She felt something a little rough near her heart through the fabric and furrowed her eyebrows. Eyes widened in realization when she found out what it was. The shamrock brand Doyle had marked on Emily.

Emily peered down at JJ’s hand on the area of the brand. She tensed for a moment and JJ slowly moved her fingers back so as to not hurt her.

“I thought you got rid of it,” JJ quietly breathed out, still with wide eyes.

“I couldn’t,” the gray-haired woman whimpered.

“Is it ok if I…” JJ softly asked.

Emily looked at her, seeing how much trust she had in the other woman, and gave a small nod. JJ took her time to unbutton her shirt and opened it. Her finger reached up her chest to lightly touch the brand, examining its outline of a shamrock and rough texture. “Does it still hurt?”

Emily bit her lip and silently nodded. “A little. Every time I look or think about it.”

JJ stared up at her and Emily met her eyes, nodding her head, knowing what the younger woman was asking. JJ leaned in to place a soft kiss on the brand, feeling Emily shiver at the warm touch. She slowly traced the outline of the brand with her lips, letting Emily know it won’t affect the way she feels about her and to remind herself that Emily was still here. It was JJ’s turn to lay Emily down, so she could give attention to her other wound.

Emily couldn’t help but feel loved in this moment. Her life since Doyle attacked her had not been easy; it was probably worse afterwards. She became a lot more alert and anxious, not having enough sleep at night more than usual. Even her compartmentalizing skills became difficult at times and she had to tell herself to step back when she needed to.

JJ leaned back up to connect their lips before resting her forehead on her shoulder. “I can’t lose you, Emily. You’re such a huge part of my life.”

Emily kissed her hair. “I can’t lose you, either. I will do anything to make sure you’re here and alive.” JJ nodded against her shoulder and planted a small kiss on her neck.

The older woman fixed their position to settle back in between JJ’s legs, tilting her head up to meet eyes that were almost filled with fear. “May I?” she whispered.

JJ silently granted her permission and Emily raised her sweater up slightly and carefully kissed her two scars. JJ exhaled out a breath and closed her eyes. She softly placed a hand on the back of Emily’s head, feeling a little more safe at the gesture. This is what JJ feared the most, hiding her hideous scars from the one she loves. But right now, she felt safe and loved. This is what JJ needed, the reassurance that Emily was going to love her no matter what happens. JJ realized at this moment that Emily was really her safe place. No one had ever calmed her down the way the older woman did.

Emily moved back up and laid beside JJ, gathering her into her arms. The two women were on JJ’s couch, gently touching and admiring each other’s wounds, and reflecting on how they affected them physically and emotionally. In that moment, they both learned yet another thing about each other. They were both equivalently broken people. They both hated the feeling of vulnerability and defeat, but they were able to find it in each other and cry about it together.

JJ glanced up at her and placed a hand on her cheek, lovingly stroking it with her thumb. “Stay with me?”

Emily smiled and kissed her forehead. “Of course.”

JJ pulled her left arm over her stomach, turning so that her back faced the older woman. Emily moved closer and cuddled up behind her, making herself comfortable in this position.

The blonde agent turned her head to Emily and smiled with tears in her eyes. "I love you so much.”

"I love you, too. Just as much," Emily smiled back and brushed her lips over her shoulder. JJ intertwined their fingers together, reassuring herself for the last time tonight that Emily was not going to fade away when she wakes up.